So sorry my blog was locked for so long!

Looks like my favorite stalker couldn't stalk me! LOL.

But anyway, I think you can pretty much guess why, and I can tell you that there is no conclusion yet.

But regardless, this post is going to be rather wordy, again. whats new?


On friday evening, while watching being human, i almost teared. Sounds quite stupid right? A Jack Neo film. That is not even supposed to be sentimental.

But I don't know, there was just some lessons inside there that really touched my heart somewhat.

So that got me thinking, again.

I realized on the walk home, that I have been too arrogant, too selfish, too impulsive.

I blame that, on steroids! HAHA.

Users report feeling good about themselves while on anabolic steroids, but researchers report that extreme mood swings also can occur, including manic-like symptoms leading to violence. This is because anabolic steroids act in a part of the brain called the limbic system, which influences mood and is also involved in learning and memory.

Steroids can also lead to other changes in mood, such as feelings of depression or irritability. Depression, which can be life-threatening, often is seen when the drugs are stopped and may contribute to the continued use of anabolic steroids. Researchers also report that users may suffer from paranoia, jealousy, extreme irritability, delusions, and impaired judgment stemming from feelings of invincibility.

Quote from http://teens.drugabuse.gov/facts/facts_ster1.php

To those who don't want to get through 2 paragraphs of words, just refer to the bolded ones.

I only took that when I was young, but somehow I got this feeling that the effects seem rather long-lasting! Or maybe its just me. :X

But okay, that aside, on the way home, I suddenly thought of what and why is everything happening in my life.

Just then, I don't know why I suddenly thought of fate and destiny. As I shared with one person my entire train of thoughts,

he merely brushed it off, and nodded in disbelief.

But to me, it makes perfect sense. As arrogant as this may sound, I think that my destiny in life is that i'll be very successful.

ONLY IF, I manage to discard the arrogant air surrounding me, and the feelings of superiority.

Thats why I believe everything is happening. Everything is working against me to bring me to my lowest repeatedly, trying to humble me.

And thank god for that, I think he has succeeded. Believe me or not, yesterday while having my usual night chat with my usual bud,

Even he told me, why you suddenly like become humble(or more humble).

I guess, I don't really expect too much already. I don't want to put people down anymore. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.

Thats why I decided. Even if things do not go too well for me again, I will forget about those words I really want to say.

That course of action was what the old me would have done.

I'll merely take it as part of my learning curve, shaping me and molding me.

(: