I don't even know whats compelling me so much.

I ran 6 times in the past 7 days.

I even ran when my leg was cramping up.

Then on thursday, friday and today, my right knee ligament was already feeling very stretched.

But yet, I still went to run, and it was damn jialat.

Today, I even ran further than what I normally run in a neighbourhood run.

Sigh. Its true, I got obsessive behavior.

Oh well.

18 Jan 2010.

Everything is going to pick up pace from tomorrow i'm sure.

I'm just wondering will I be able to keep up with everything, or will I be left behind.

I always set very high expectations for myself.

But recently, I always seem to fall short.

I have really really tried to be happy and be positive.

Even when i'm feeling sad, I still suck it up, and carry on.

sigh.

Isn't our life goal to find out who we truly are?
Who we are meant to be, our rightful places in this expansive world.
In zealous search of the answers, we search far and wide.

And after much fruitless searches, we finally realized that.
Everything was actually right in front of us.
The answer to our prayers, the answer to everything.

But it's too late, as we reach out to finally claim what was ours,
It vanishes like the shifting sands in the Sahara.
Whats left is the sifting of the fragments through our clenched fists.

The sick feeling going inside, our knees buckle as though the world weighed down on it.
Despondency grow, etching regret on our faces.
It's the end. What's lost is lost, and can never be retrieved again.


its coming to 4AM in hte morning. I'm still awake incredibly.
What time did I start writing this post? 1+? I have no idea.
Regardless. I think its my turn to sleep.
So good night everyone.
I'm out.