I don't know if I should laugh or cry, smile or sulk.

It is seemingly very, very weird.

Everything seems to have taken a new complexion in the way I see it.

Some problems has evolved,

Some compounded, some resolved.

Those that has been resolved seemingly has to come with a mutual exchange.

I'm really really so damn tired.

Why can't everything be smooth sailing or peaceful for once?

It has been such a long time since I last attained that state of utopia.

Where I could laugh and smile the whole day, because there was so much to be happy about.

Right now, all I feel is indescribable.

I don't even know what i'm feeling anymore.

Toss a sack of negative feelings up in the air, and whatever falls, i'll claim thats what i'm feeling.

This morning at 330am.

I felt so fucking relieved, I just wanted to shout. I just wanted to go talk to someone and just spam him or her.

But noone was online.

Fair enough, it was 330am. which is kinda late by any standards.

But what i'm ruing, is not that I did not talk to anyone,

But is why the fuck within the space of 12 hours, my feelings can swing from one end of the spectrum,

to the other fucking end?

Correction. I had the happy feeling for 5 hours.

Then it was back to reality.

Reality fraught with commitments, negativity, cruelly mellowed by a tinge of inspiration.