Many recent events, have incited thoughts into my brain. The most compelling one, was a question posed.

"Who are your true friends?"

I have often classified clearly who my good friends, best friends or ordinary friends are. But I realized, on a deeper look, there seems to be many discrepancies and gray areas. This topic has always been on my mind since some time back, when I was in dire need of a listening ear, and was in search for the right one.

In the time when I just needed to talk, only a few people pulled through for me. Some who I thought were good friends, seemed entirely disinterested. Maybe, it was merely a misconception of my part, or i misinterpreted. But i'm guessing its the earlier. The recent spate of events, invoked those questions into my head again. Right then, I realized.

Initially, in all honesty, I entered Poly, with the intention of phasing through poly life. I hated school. I only liked fridays, because that was the only day, I could be myself, and stop putting up with a false front in front of every damn person in the school. Every Friday, was a fun night. Regardless! 4 hours. 3 hours. 2 hours. Even just for a dinner with any of my usual pals, was the most enjoyable thing in Poly.

There we will sit, random chat, bitch and laugh at about every thing there is in Poly. But as my Poly life went on, I actually begun liking school to a certain extent! Year 1, saw me actively playing games in every class with my classmates, and sometimes at home. skipping lessons together to poker. all those kind of stuff that was by Poly, nostalgic.

To present, I thought that I could find insanely good pals outside of my adolescence. Apparently that was merely blind wishing and hope on my part. What I garner is in its purity, merely schoolmates, people who are like the previous me, with the mere intention to transit through school. Maybe I should start hating school again. Not even for the friends. Nothing seems worthwhile for me anymore.

3 paragraphs to summarize my social life in Polytechnic. 0 words to take away from it. I have always been sincere to all but one person. I mostly went out of my way for anyone. I am almost a spectre, doing numerous positive deeds without a reason, sometimes without even staking claim to it. But what did I get. lol. I'm convinced that all I got, are MANY schoolmates.

I apparently side tracked too far. I think this post is a little too wordy, so to make the conclusion short.

I apparently reshuffled who's where in my circle of friends. I'm pretty sure as a friend of mine, you wouldn't actually give a fuck as to how I would rate you right? But all I would say is, best pals yeah. And for the others... Well, I will still remain as I am. Without the extra mile.

Maybe I never did it. Maybe people just don't know. I couldn't care anyway.


one of the many grievances thats plaguing me.
I guess i'm pretty messed up.
lolol