Effort, Results. What is effort? The amount of work you put in to achieve something. Results is that something. Throughout the grueling course of our existence, we have been constantly reminded by our elders that effort equates results. the more effort we put in, the greater the results we will expect to see. Being a skeptic, I never believed in it, and my resolution has been ever-growing, as i matured from being a fledgling, into a near-coming 18 year old, teenager. Expect. it linked me to another idiom, the greater the expectations, the harder you fall.


In the past 5-6 months, so many things have happened. I experienced happiness, sadness, disappointment, despondency, euphoria. It left a huge imprint on me, and it set me going. If effort equates results, shouldn't life be fair? Plain for all to see, its pretty damn obvious that life is not fair. I wouldn't go into emotional fairness, but to cite an example that is easier to relate to, i shall jump onto the materialistic wagon.

"Why does my friend have more allowance than me?"
"Why doesn't my friend need to work?"
"How come my friend who is about the same age as me, have a car to drive and i do not?"
"Why my friend have an Iphone? isn't it like $1k?"

Have any of these thoughts ever crossed your mind? if it did, its perfectly normal. It all adds up to life isn't fair, at least materialistically-wise. But as i said, im a skeptic. i believe life IS fair. You think your friend has more money than you means hes happy? And that just because you have less, you are more unhappy as you have to work.

the truth is, it does not work that way. material possessions only serve to fill the void left behind. voids that can't be filled with banknotes. voids that can't be filled with branded goods. voids that can only be filled with emotions. it's funny how we humans work. we conceal so much from others, that it's almost unnatural whenever we move out of our sanctuary. the unnatural nature of our behavior, over time has fused to become our natural behavior.


But then again, if life was fair, why is it that a perfectly young healthy individual can have medical issues, which I as a person who indulges in vices, not have? does life have another plan for me? Will it just decide to fuck me off this planet come the morrow? i wouldn't know. Its incredibly baffling and enigmatic, how anyone can rate themselves over others, when in actual truth, we are all equal, in that our future is shrouded with the unknown.


I seriously lost most of my confidence in the past few weeks.

I so untalented, that its almost sad, and pathetic.

I tried. I really tried. but nothing ever works out.

So whatever. fuck me. s2bm whatever makes u happy.


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fuck