When some things transit from a novelty to a drag, it is incredibly tiring, and unspeakably draining to keep pining for a unlikely reversal. As matters unfold with every passing minute, it is becoming increasingly apparent that i'm the only fool which carries this burden. I self-consult a lot. almost too much, to the extent that i lay out all possibilities before it happens, taking refuge in the good, and shy from the bad. all imagination. In the existing world, it is not as i hope and perceive it to be one day, it is instead a cruel world, where people are unfortunately unable to employ mind-reading powers. I proclaim myself to be a talented individual, but is never able to prove it in school. Staring at the cocky guys in my class receive a script with grades greater than mine by at least 2, was of no stranger to me. i wonder, am i really talented? In actual fact, all i have in this life, was all my hard work, and talent. I've never been a lucky person. I don't think i ever will. I will even take a step further into delusion, when some things do work out for me, i will aptly name it fate, and not im lucky. reason? simple. i don't believe in luck. Ironic isn't it? I been trying to interpret god-sent signs, from being caught in the rain, to even changing songs on shuffle. honestly, its once again, part of my attempt to delude myself further, into it is still possible. As im writing this, i harbour a outside chance of it still happening, but delusion must stop somewhere, and i know it will not happen. If my character reading analysis is correct, theres no way it would happen.



Regardless, im not even gonna mention school. been kinda depressing for me. just wanna live life out fully.

3 things that define my life now, outside of school work.

Gym.
Rugby.
WC3.