Saturday 16th Feburary : Started the day meeting xf 9.30am at toa payoh. as always he is perpetually late. and i was walking around wasting my life again. knnb. he reach he call me, when i find him. he already smoking. goddamn slut. then cross over to GG @ balestier to play. Today my sore throat was getting very bad. im like 2000% allergic to dunhill. so i exchanged 6 dunhill lights for his 3 marlboro lights -_-. bad trade =/.


my 1st game vs curns, was pretty easy, well, i expected his tower rushes. so ya. 2nd match vs shana, he was randoming, and i won 2-1, with first game he going mk fast expo + griffs. which i won with a eventual lv7 BM, lv6 SH. 2nd game he was elf, and i pretty much killed myself with a very stupid expo. 3rd game he went mk fast expo griffs again, and i almost did the identical thing, but went panda instead. and won. 3rd match vs kanenites, and since it didnt really matter if i won or lost, would've qualified anyway, i literally switched off and lost 2-0. quarter finals, i played pinkly, he calls himself sweet o_o. won the series 2-1, with my wyvern strat winning again. semis played against girlyluck. this was the most fucked up game in my life. i used 50 food of orc units without peons vs his bears dryad combo. and i killed every single fcking thing and eventually lost... because i killed my own sh from 200 hp to 0. i didn't even know i was shooting him. until he died. most fcked up thing. my face was knn black after that. and 2nd game i pretty much threw it away.i was so fcking sad, i trained so hard the whole week, just for such a ending. so many things had happened, and i had expected the victory to at least instil into myself some form of confidence. now only i realise, that it is pointless. the fact is that im just not good enough. King of orcs? rofl noone recognises me as that. despite all my achievements, just because im much younger than them, i'm always a misfit in their community. when i win, its all luck and imbalance, "wow nice crit rate from Blademaster." "Orc is imba vs Undead." Blademaster imba hero. orc imba race. WC is a joke game. Water Closet 3, The flushing technique.




went liquid kitchen after that, opened 1x bottle of vodka shared by 6 people and i drank 1/3 of it. was so fcking sad so it was literally my only avenue. just died there, smoking and drinking non-stop for 1 hour. down about 10 sticks i think in 1 hour. it was almost non stop. and i only paid $25 for both drinks and cigs. after that feel pretty terrible. was gonna die. and it was only 11pm >.<. sometimes, its not that i dont want to quit smoking. or anything else bad. its just... a trade off that cannot be obtained via other means.



Compeitive games are just not meant for people born in 1991.




Today cycled down to macperson, and had one of the most relaxing smokes in my life. sitting at a certain coffee shop, with a cup of coffee, and a big pau, and a newly bought pack of marlboro light from the adjacent 7-11, the peace i had was almost imaginary. of course the damn marlboro light today was a bit lao hong, but it didnt really spoil my mood. had so much on my mind recently, and what a perfect occasion to unwind. 3:00PM. sitting at a corner, no familar faces, no kids, no couples, not much people, facing a prawn mee coffee shop -_-. the feeling of the first cigarette slipping in between my lips, the subsequent rustling of my lighter, followed by the breathe in, the exhale, it was all so enjoyable that i did 3 during my stay which spanned half an hour.