28 September : After school, went to buy dunhill, and then went down to boon keng just for a session? -.-. rather boring, with retarded subjects like Physics, and A Maths.. >.< then went down to dhoby to play some lan matches with ken. very disappointing games for me, at least, due to various reasons, i think its cause the team plays wrongly. oh wellx. not my problem not anyway. after that took train back home. at night, wanted to play some public dota around 9, but fell asleep until 11, then i off my com, and continued sleeping lawl. that sums up 28 september.

29 september : Saturday. went for a suntan in the afternoon, didnt really went for really long, about maybe 10 minutes or so, finished off the last of my 5 sticks today. argh. guess i wont have any for the next few days. the night was spent watching arsenal vs westham, and manchester united vs birmingham city. cool, but i wish liverpool was on... =(. going coffeeshops to watch, make me really tired T_T, especially the waiting time between matches.

been having some sort of chrysanthenum craze recently, drinking those shit at coffeeshops, drinking white chry tea at home, well the point is there. >.< used to be some green tea craze.

30 september : Sunday. Studied in the morning, man A maths is a pain in the ass. afternoon went for another tan. at the swimming pool there, my brother gave me 3 streaks, across my chest area. man, i hate having soft skin. it came off like hot knife slicing through butter, and blood came rushing out. then, came the shower, before i took my swim, and the pain induced by the on-going water, and judging by that pool showers do have a high velocity, it sparked off a undesirable link, intense pain. but that wasnt going to put me down, as i still enjoyed about an hour in the sun. howevef left my back exposed for about 30+ minutes, while i hardly tanned my front. now i look like a half cooked chicken >.<. at night had some really enjoyable dota game, the first in a long time, going all the way up to level 25 =P.

1st october : Monday. 8 More days to Physics Prac, 10 more to Chem, 21 to the floodgates open =(. watched balls of fury today. quite average show, with a couple of laughs, but most of the show was summarized in the trailer. hmm =\. quite a boring day at school, attended a second english class, but chemistry was kinda interesting.. learnt alot of new teams concering qualitive analysis today. actually its probably because i was slacking the whole year round, hence i seem to be learning so many things all of a sudden. aha.



i am genuinely wondering, after my o's should i just play dota for fun? as in like play with my schoolmates, and all. i mean like. its much more fun when ur team is tailored the way u like it, instead of picking up more "reknowned" players from across the island. i literally created my school team, from a bunch of sec school nerds, to runners-up last year, and q-finalists this year. is it possible that i can bring them any further than they already are? they have been asking me to play with them after o's. should i? i love the feeling of playing in my self created team, and with my school mates. they are so much more on the same wavelength with me, rather than any other team. since i dont really feel damn happy as it is now, this is a genuine consideration... hmm.~

It's been a long time since i last smiled out of genuine happiness... maybe, it can date back to a year plus? most smiles i do now, is out of formality, respect, or merely thinking it is utterly lame. i could get by easily, as i had other avenues of enjoyment.

now...

i can't play wc solo no more, cos vista dosent support ggc, or vice versa,
i play dota nowadays, i lose like 90%, i get more pissed than i even started,
so much stress coming from multiple directions, studies, families, relationships...


all these happened at the wrong time, wrong year. why can't it just stall for 2 more months, when after that i could at least be flexible with my time? im short on time, both in real life, and mentally.

dota pubs, put me on my literal wits end, it makes me want to explode verbally, or implode violently. and i keep playing it, hoping for me to start winning. but it never happens. i feel so damn useless and retarded. would u believe that a draft like,

Sentinel (oppo)
Silencer
SK
Lion
Rhasta
NA

can beat our draft of like
BB
Viper
Potm
Zeus
Vs


and the game dragged to like 70 minutes?

such small things like this, is what is pissing me off. its accumulative... i cant think straight anymore. to even arrange this shit.


my life is devoid of happiness, whose void, was filled with endless problems.

Blah, i guess that was a really long freaking post. =\ anyway, uploaded my wc vid, my friends commented that it sucked. i think it do suck a little. is it really that bad?

Today, i'm inspired to write an article, a more taboo one, due to hugely contrasting views, from a friend, and my whole bunch of friends...

Topic : Smoking


Today, after school which finished at 1015, i went to the Kovan's macdonalds, to study. on reaching there, my usual khakis, started smoking. today, i brought this friend, cause he said he also wanted to study there. he is very critical of smoking, and dosent really like smokers. his face changed, on seeing my friends smoke, as he followed up in macdonalds, making many smug remarks, on them. thank god, nothing much really happened. but that compelled me to decide to write this. many people are unconvinced, when i tell them, not to take such a critical point of view on smokers. so, just to address the situation, and to avoid repeating it millions of times over, i shall just type it down here.


Smoking, is commonplace around the world, whether its in Europe, the US, Asia, Australia. whatever. Approximately 5.5 trillion cigarettes are produced globally each year by the tabacoo industry, smoked by over 1.1 billion people, which is more than 1/6 of the world's total population. Singapore, is no exception. one just have to date back to last year. people coming in from malaysia, attempted to smuggle in 4 boxes of Malboro cigarettes. 1 box contains about maybe 100 packets, and multiply that by 4, and 20, u get a comfortable 8000 cigarettes. isn't 8000 a huge number? Yes, it is. but that proves that, there is a market in singapore, to carry out such deeds. you need not rummage through your old newspaper pile to confirm what i just said, but instead, look no further than "heartland" shopping centres. the floor is littered with cigarette butts, ashes everywhere, and the oh'so'common sight of middle-aged workers, and elderly lifting the snugly placed cigarette between their two fingers, into the slit in their face. u see a flash of red, and subsequently, the person starts puffing out smoke. what exactly is the use of a cigarette? why do people hate it so much? why do people do it? is it wrong?... the list goes on.


Firstly, to answer things systematically, the use of a cigarette, is very much similar to the use of drugs. its a legalised form of drugs around the world. which is comfortably priced at $9-12 in singapore, and much cheaper in our neighbouring countries. it contains forms of anti-depressants, and other components, meant to give u a "high". further more, a cigarette gives u a sort of endolphin boost, the moment u take a single puff, as it supposedly has stimulants inside a cigarette.


Why do people hate it so much? to the non-smokers, they find it particualrly horrible, when they are eating, and some wafting intoxicating air from a neighbouring table floats over. the result, the person would cover his nose most of the time, give a hard glare, and move himself, or herself to a table, where the person would not be affected. the government, knowing that such cases, are on the rise, and are highly common, implemented the "smoking area" scheme, which was kicked into place, island-wide, which forced all eateries, to create a smoking corner, specially for smokers, and not allow any smokers, anywhere else. this program was widely cheered by the public, and smokers, accepted unreadily. another scenario, is when you are walking down the street, and this unconsiderate person in front of you, smokes, and puffs the smoke outwards, which subsequently floats straight into your face. a similar effect happens, and as such, people tend to hate smokers. the stereotype of smokers, are also that they are gangsters,(if they are young) and hooligans or ruffians. i however totally disagree with this, as my friends who do smoke, are not hooligans nor ruffians, actually they are rather humble, and nice to talk with. its up to a person's point of view in viewing smoking.


Why do people smoke? as said earlier, it is a form of anti-depressant, to keep awake, and among the youths these days, its meant to look cool. or so it is thought. the first thing a youth smokes, its out of curiousity or peer pressure. the second time he smokes, he wants to be included in the group. the third, its unlikely it has anything to do with ego anymore. in all due fairness, it is grossly over-used by youths, as such that they would smoke the moment they get some time to themselves, even though they are feeling no stress nor pressure. some youths do use it, for the beneficial parts of smoking. although it comes at a cost, as long as we lead our lives healthily, i dont foresee this being a problem.


Is smoking wrong? if u asked me that, i would ask you, is lying wrong? your best friend and you, share everything together, secrets, food, games, everything. but one day, if u should see your best friend's boyfriend out with another girl, what would you do? would u straight away run and tell ur friend, what you have seen, and let her go sort it out with you as her support, or would you privately confront him, and demand an explanation? I would defnitely choose the later, as i would not want any unnecessary party to be hurt, and that it may all be a misunderstanding. Lying in this case, although is supposedly wrong, it has a good side to it. it all depends on the scenario. similarly, is smoking entirely wrong? True, society frowns upon it, people condone smokers, but, have anyone spared a thought for smokers? what they have gone through when they were young? why did they even started smoking excessively? the emotional trauma, the emotional stress. the academic stress. who cares about them? all we can do is what, pass judgements? then whats the difference between us and a dog? we are supposed to be caring to fellow humans, show concern, not put them down? kick em when they are down, laugh at their mistakes, is it not true, that its because of us humans, that smokers are even present? if everyone had a confidante, and little problems, who would ever smoke? its only cause we as humans, have not done our part as friends and families, to these smokers. the next time, you want to say that a smoker sucks, think. what if you were in his circumstances, would you like someone to say the same about you? who are you to pass judgement on him?


i personally, I would say that i belong to the group of people, that i just wrote about. it started initally, out of curiousity, followed by to socialise more, then finally, its used as a mere drug, to relieve myself from any stress i have. im a good holder of stress, but when too many things come at once, i really do need an avenue for releasing it. being a silent thinker, as the physcologists would put it, i tend to read more into matters than what meets the eye. and without any friends that i am sufficiently comfortable with to confide in, i had to resort to the worst possible way, smoking. anyone who knows me well enough, would still testify that i am still a rather nice guy, and that i havent changed.

And i wont. its just to relieve stress. =)


to those who are still entirely critical about smoking and the accompanying endorsers, please try to come to terms with humanity. its not as simple, or as innocent as you want it to be.

the world, is a rough place.


Davidduff is a nice brand.
Viceroy Sucks =(

今天我又发现一个很真的道理。这世上没有一件事可以完全是坏或好。竟然如此，你不觉得很奇怪为何在我们生活的过程中，我们会遇到很多不应该做的事，因为这是错的。等等。可是，你们自私的想想，如果每件事都分好了，黑或白，我们不是不用做决定了？我们这生命中是没有价值了。


今天我做了一件可以令我后悔，一件很对不起我自己的事情。坚持是背叛我活得道理。原以为我是一个很倔强的男子，我相信的事情，我会保持我的看法，不被朋友或别人影响到我，可是我自次实在错大了。不是事情的严重，而是我背叛了自己。我做了那件事是要有一实的美好，把我从这个令人伤东痛的世界拉走。我改变了。你问我，我会后悔我今天做的事呢?我就会很有自信的跟你讲，我不会。


不管我说讲的话，我终于发现到朋友的重要，过了这么多年，我没有很好的朋友，现在我已经十六岁了，我要珍惜我现在的友情，如果你以为我是像以前的大傻瓜，那是个很大的错误了。


我准备放弃。。。

我准备跟你吵。。。

我准备离开。

Reverting back to the past, with exact identical feelings, attitudes, and situations, is impossible.

the prospect of looking forward to the future, with heightened feelings, positive attitudes, is increasingly bleak.

accepting life as it is, the difficulty, is colossal.

Past --> Present --> Future.

who said the past is a foundation for the present, and the present, the foundation for the future?


that guy should be shot.







-to do or not to do?

Lolx. today i thought i got blood poisoned. ok techincally no, since it was neither lead poisoning, nor did i expose a open wound to over-excessive carbon monoxide. today chem lesson, i was laming as usual, spinning this time, a test tube, with my index and middle finger on my left hand. i was having lots of fun, until it slipped alittle, and made direct contact with the table. obviously, when u take into consideration, the material the table is made of, and the fragility of the glass, its rather obvious, what happened.


after clearing up the mess, i went on to the do my experiment, when all of a sudden, i noticed some purple solution on my left hand. at first thinking that it was merely some manganate stain, i ignored it, until i felt some kind of sharp pain around that area. washing it under the nearby tap, it was revealed that i had some sort of cut, and that manganate was covering the wound. washing away the blood, and the maganate of course, i assumed that maganate aint a poisonous substance.


i hope my assumption is right. please don't tell me im wrong?

The quality of games these days are on the decline. ever since the release of warcraft, i havent played nor seen a decent game around. maybe its just biased taste on my part, but there is no other game, that could compare to old school games(when it was popular), such as gunbound, counter-strike, and mu-online. nowadays, everyone compensates gameplay, for graphics. one just need to turn to games such as c&c3. can anyone fight against the fact that it has great graphics? but the gameplay is still horrendously hackneyed. Gaming is evolving. but is it evolving positively? the games these days. i would called them, games of little value, or paltry.


im really whiny today, i guess. as i made 2 stupid bets, like both i bought exact score, when if i bought the general thing, like 1x2, or hg, i would have won big. but i decided to be super greedy, and went for the kill with exact score. oh, im gonna hate myself for that


to think i thought i deleted that XML. lol its still with me.. hmm..

Lim Wei Yang

A human who does not in any way look like that, in increasing danger, due to his inability to run away from the necrolyte with haste. unless...





O'Levels

Brings a target to full realization of its own mortality, dealing damage based on how much life the target is missing. Stuns for 38 days.

Level 1 - .4 damage per life missing.
Level 2 - .6 damage per life missing.
Level 3 - .9 damage per life missing.

LEVEL 16 - 300 damage per subject which grade is under B3.

Cooldown: One time use, 5840 Days cooldown.

Level 1: 200 mana, 150 sec cooldown.
Level 2: 340 mana, 120 sec cooldown.
Level 3: 500 mana, 70 sec cooldown.


LEVEL 16 - FREE. 5840 Days cooldown

im seriously reminded of my own impending mortality. i need an impetus! =(


Impetus

Granted only to the strong-willed, this skill gives the user the ability to increase activity in response to a stimulus. GIVES THE BEARER 622 MS! (100 more than haste!)


Weeeeeeeee! LOL IM LAME -.-

如果有一天，我可以再拥有我所有过的爱情，我现在会接受她吗？我平不期待啊。这世界有太多不可能的事了。我们当人们，对我而言，每件事情，只有一个机会去把事情做好，一旦错过，就没有机会去翻回，不能一犯再错。这是满可悲的不是吗？最惨忍的是比赛。压力实在很多，不训练不行，如果训练了很多，还第一场比赛被踢出，实在太可惜了。可是这不是生命？这是生命的特点，唯有一次机会的特点=）。深厚的旧爱情，真的很难忘记。


我想看《〈斗牛。要不要〉〉！

快点拍完毕阿！才能享受和期待你们的第十一片！

Haha. finished. results finalized.

looks like a D7 for physics gonna appear on my report card =(. but nvm i guess this prelims was too soon after wcg, didnt really had much time or mood to prepare for it. i will come back pwning for o's =P. now is 1:21 PM, and im posting this. pretty obviously, im not in school... my school finishes at 1.45 =P. ahaha poned school cos last lesson was chinese. couldnt really bother to stay around school. haha. kinda happy that i got so many more hours to myself today =D. tomorrow would be the same! =D. happy happy.

MY GGC SEEMS FIXED! AHAHAHAHHAAHH

Finished CAPL DOTA OPEN the last weekend...

really drained a shit lot out of me. probably i wasnt in the pink of health yet, i was sick the past week, and had prelims simultaneously going on, to such a extent that, in the finals, i went totally dead. i couldn't hear what they was saying, a throbbing headache, a leaking tap in my nose, and totally lack concentration. not like im blaming those for my game, but it was horribly retarded, how i couldnt hear shit. i dunno why, i just couldnt. those long gaming hours... =[. rather ok tournament i guess ba. a lot of lame things happen as usual, i mean like. you are playing with maki and hengky? funny things are bound to happen.

Hengky : "我去中间First Blood那些Gi Nah"

he did go middle solo, but. he did not first blood the potm, instead he got first blooded. damn fuking rofl. another lame quote,

Maki : “小鸟看到了Ding Dong Ding Dong"

like wtf, he used the animal courier in the bird form, scouted the guy, and started spamming ding dong. its really wtttttttf. a last quote i can remember,

Maki :＂ＳＫ摇地盘了Ｇｏｇｏ＂

Ｓｋ　ｍａｓｓ　ｅｐｉ　＝ｙａｏ　ｄｉ　ｐａｎ?ｒｏｆｌ．ｌａｍｅ．　＞．＜

its official. im dead. screwed. crucified.

English - A2
Maths - C5 - WTF
Humanities - B3 - WTF
Chinese - B3
Physics - D7 (w/o P1)
Chemistry - E8 (w/o P1/3)
A Maths - I dun want to know

L1R5 = ? 2+5+3+3+7+8?
= 7+3+3+15
= 22+6?
= 28?

FUCK

so many things happened recently...

just finished my prelims examinations. seems like i got what D7 for my physics? fuck this. and a c5 for my e maths? u gotta be kidding me. this is so fucking retarded =(. the only bright side that i can see... is that i got history, and english at A2 atm. i hope it stays that way. intriguing, how i got so low. i still have chemmy, ss and a maths to go. hopefully, those can pick me up. haisssss....

retarded lifestyle i lead. go school, come home about 330, on com, surf website, bathe at 430, watch tv till 6, come down play a few more games, go eat at 715, come back at 815, play a few more games, go sleep.. its really like wtf. there is not enough time in a day. after school, im left with 145 to 1145 to spend, thats 10 hours. say if i eat lunch, and the usual chill out shit, i reach home about 3, thats 8 hours 45 minutes more. if i surf the net for an hour a day, im left with 7 hours 45 minutes, if i bathe 10 minutes, and sleep off 1 hour 35 minutes more, im left with merely 6 hours. if i game for an hour before dinner, im left with 5 hours, dinner is 1 hour(since i always have to eat out =[) im left with 4 hours. come home, chill awhile rest awhile, left with 3 hours 30 minutes, say i study for maybe 1 hour, im left with 2 hours 30 minutes, if i play 2 dota games, im probably left with what... 30 minutes? is this enough? wtf

summary : 3 hours on gaming
1 hour on studying.

T_T what a terrible way to use time.

or is there just too little?

Zz.


on a side note .

TH000 is a joke!

Seriously, i really treat blogs like online dairies... the one place that i can bitch around, and noone can chide me, as though im writing in a book, although, im subsituting that, in the form of typing.

Got a new compaq computer last week...

2.33Ghz Duo Core
2.0GB ram
250GB Hard disk
Geforce 7800

quite soso specs...

HP 19' LCD monitor.

ok thats some cool. =P

too lazy to take any picutres and upload it lolx..

just concluded day 2 of WGT at suntec today. this tournament was really fun, with team wrath, fielding Hengky, Maki, Me, Ken, Wang for this tournament. oh well, so it was... i can't go tomorrow due to my prelims being on monday, and Maki cant go tomorrow as he has to work. what would have ended being one of the best tournaments i had so far, was marred by this unnecessary issue.i guess, noone is to be blamed here, except WGT. why the hell must all compies stretch to sunday? don't they understand that sunday is the day to sleep, family day, and whatever else? or those people have no family life, or social life, until always hold on sundays. bastards. on the bright side, from yesterday, we've played 3 games so far. 1st game i was nerubian weaver, 2nd i was nerubian assassin, 3rd i was storm spirit. none of those games i was actually feeding, and i was contributing a fair bit every game. most funny thing so far, was when i tio viper strike, i just barrier myself, and the viper strike did 0 damage. rofl man. =\. anyway, i don't want to take much away from this compy, a vile waste of time imho. and i cant play WGT finals. its like 27 sep? _l_ its a weekday, and my school won't let me out. i won't let myself out also. zzz


Lastly, i just got a ZGMF-X20A figurine! if u dunno what is that, then you won't understand the following. its like so damn cool! cost my $44.xx but damn nice! i just complted both guns,(this model dosent have a shield like ZGMF-X10A) completed the head, torso and 1 hand... and i hope to finish it soon, not tomorrow i guess, since i have to study. but sincerely... soonx.

and ya, won a 512mb ram, and a limmited edition asus shit from some weird lucky draw shit that maki suggested. man, those dN* people are cool people! or at least those formerly from dN* other teams... ewewewew. they are all so weird. =\


saying thus, i have quit competitive gaming, till at least after my o'levels.


gl to those having o'levels this year, and still think you have a hell lot of time.

22 october, is merely 40+ days from now. u fucknut.

What characterisitic is most important to you when you look for a friend? in particular, a more intimate one? or is it just mere looks? or physical appearances? must they be...

Friendly
Understanding
Caring
Kind

or really pretty or handsome?

in my opinion, the most important in the female im looking for, starts with a V. any guesses? it has an "i" in it too. before you start getting the wrong idea, im not a perverse person, and the word is virtue. if u guessed what i thought u guessed. then probably you are just another person, infected by the vulgar and obscenties disease going round singapore. i've been afflicted too, thats why i can come up with such a thing. but honestly, virtue is of utmost importance. being able to carry oneself, relentless in seeking out what is best and honest, is what attracts me most. althought i must really admit, that i have little experience in this case, as compared to other people, i am probably a peon, while they are like a tauren... ok bad analogy, but you get what i mean.

i think a lot, but do very little. it is probably because i've been presented with little, or no opportunities to do anything. but im still fine with that, it dosent really matter. but i just love to imagine myself be one of the characters in a drama serial, or even a anime, or whatever else. and adapt that person point of view, why is their relationship so steadfast? in this particular case, i've got one example. those that have on my their msn list, know that my msn nick now reads.

"Kira Yamato and Lacus Clyne Forever!"

why is that so? in the anime gundam seed, to gundam seed destiny, they both shared a noble goal, to bring peace to the world, and not taking sides to eradicate the other, to ensure a swift end to the war, at the expense of an entire race. my favourite quote, that lacus said to kira,

"Neither will alone, nor strength alone."

with the gundam, freedom, kira had all the strength in the world. but it was only when he was on level terms with lacus, would he realise the true neccessity of his power, not to protect merely his friends, but to use it for a greater good.

Virtue. what a beautiful word.

Virtue. not many have it these days.

Virtue. is it still existant?