Officially finished my 1st round of prelims today. 2nd round coming up straight after my september holidays. if you would even consider it one, with the impending list of remedials stacked up, i wouldnt really call that a holiday, perhaps a supplementary week? its more apt dont you think? anyway, rounded off this ultimatium week, with a explosive finisher, my additional mathetmatics paper. anyone who knows me well enough, or is even in my school, knows that i constantly failed that paper, F9. record-streak. Lolx. hope i'll end it, although prospects do not really seem bright, or even near it.


Haix, on a more entertaining note... GGC ladder is finally up! i can at last find some random opponent to play with, and not stuck with my old buddies. not like they are bad, but you know distance makes the heart grow fonder. ( am i sounding kinda gay here?) but don't worry, im straight =). anyway, made my debut back into wc3, after inactivity since gxl. man the feeling of bm chopping the shit out of arch mages, is damn high! =D.


thats all =\.


Marks Expected...

Physics : B4
Chemmy : B3
English : A1
E Maths : B4
A Maths : C6?
Combined Humanities : A2

L1R5 = 4+3+1+4+2+3 ( including chinese O levels, i got 3)
= 17-4(affliation)
= 13... i cant get into SAJC T_T T_T T_T.

ArghX

Smile. what is the significance of a smile to a individual? to many, it is merely an expression to show gratitude, happiness, delight. To some, a smile is merely a mask, to hide feelings hidden within us. how many times, when what your friend said makes you uncomfortable, you just merely smile at him, to shake off the awkardness? besides this, how often do we smile? in my honest opinion, a smile goes beyond such superficial meanings. a smile. is worth immensely more than we would value it. people think i'm crazy, when i collect flyers while smiling at the person giving, a mere thank you with a flash of a smile, i give. friends give me that wtf look. but im already used to it. even my days as a flyer distributor, almost 1/100 smile at me when i give out flyers. for someone who is already so lethargic, and very frustrated, a smile can really change his day. its not worth much to me, its not that hard to smile, a genuine one. except when i'm really down, then i would not. But how often, are we caught in this web of depression? feeling so depressed, so sad, as if nothing mattered anymore. but yet, deep down, all we longed was for someone we really appreciate, to give us a genuine smile, a pat on the back perhaps, and some kind encouraging words?


genuine smiles should not be used strictly for the broken-hearted. genuine smiles should be used everywhere, when someone fails his test, let us all smile, genuinely, and not in a mocking manner, and encourage him, not jeer him. if there is one day, that everyone begun to think like me, and started giving a smile to everyone we see on the road, our society formerly touted as "ugly", will now be a society brimming with goodwill.


hope i live until that day, when it happens. i would then be able, to smile in my grave.

My perception of life, is definitely not what it is. I always thought, take one thing at a time, and just relax, and let nature take its course. things were just as i thought. or was it? many times, i will lay awake, as i reflect back on the day that has just passed ;

wow. 24 hours gone. what have i done?

as i attempt to unearth memories of the passed day, my search becomes more desperate, as i struggle to find a single constructive thing i done. apparently, after a few moments or so, a deed would pop into my head : i have learnt a new strategy today!

wow. seriously wow.

gaming had almost taken over my life, until i stopped it dead in its tracks. i thought warcraft, talked warcraft, shit warcraft, played warcraft. looking back, well maybe to a slight extent, it was worth it. but i wish, i never entered maccyber, back in primary 3. the first time i was exposed to the world of cyber-gamers. i was instantly hooked. how else would i have played so much?

adrenaline pumping, ass-kicking, pure ownage games. help us forget bad things. help us relieve pain. this is true to a very huge extent. my friend once told me this, in response to my question

Eh, are you okay? I heard you got some problems

Nah im fine.

You wanna talk about it in msn?

Nono, i just play warcraft can already.

Huh?

every time i play solo, i will forget about everything. even for 15 minutes, i really love it alot.

my that friend is 4 years older than me. a very nice guy he is. always willing to help me in warcraft, we shared about everything. life, relationship problems, warcraft, all the nonsense. although i must admit, that i only knew him for barely a year, then warcraft plummeted, and he quit warcraft. so i hardly speak to him these days. however, we still meet up occasionally for some gym sessions together, chow, movies etc. =)

i will not let gaming take over my life. gaming has made me arrogant. rugby has made me arrogant. i want to gain back my long-lost humility. through quitting rugby, i already regained much of that, with the repercussion of gaming, i do hope. that i can get through this, without undoing what i have worked for, and sacrificed for.

my humilty.



Enlightenment

T_T. 3rd day into my prelims only, and i already feel so tired and drained. i get drained so fast and easily? social studies paper, have officially finished me off, and left me for dead. tomorrow, who would know what would happen? its chemistry and mathematics paper 2 tomorrow. hope i do well, haix >_<.


i feel im becoming very bad. must be the influences around me. im beginning to think violent thoughts again, although im able to physically control myself, my minds tend to wander too much, and thoughts that are perverse. i want to be my old self again. i dun want to be like this anymore...


fuck.

>.<. just went to MJ to buy S.H.E's PLAY DVD, only to find out that stocks havent arrived... T_T. guess i'll have to make a trip there later again... =\. few more days to prelims... only studied chemmy. so tired~! =(

at least... the pangs of gaming is gone! i can now study in peace =D

Feeling so immensely bored at home. apparently, i have literally only Warcraft, and GGC. of which, GGC ladder is down, Warcraft B.Net is too lag, and GGC has noone online. I literally have too much time on my hands. Im beginning to start my studying, which i am confident it would yield results, but all my precious free time, is ebbing away slowly, and painfully. Warcraft is dead, gone forever. it would probably disappear off the radar of Singapore's WCG list of official games next year. would I be able to adapt to SC2? Hopefully so. =\



I wish i could say whatever i wanted to say here. or even say it in real life. but i cant. it will reveal the petty side of me again. evidence of retardedness, again.

7 more days to prelims... >_<

I just heard Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You" again today. it really reminds me of so many things that i have long forgotten. haha. counting back, it was Jian Wen, mVp)T0iDdi- that sent me that song, to encourage me, when i was feeling really down, and motivate me. Haha, it is kinda funny, now when i think about the reason. =P


I Hope next year, when i go Poly or JC or whatever, i can find a GF... who games! i mean like how cool would it be like, if my gf, could talk Warcraft strategies with me? Contemplate "gay" strategies to use in 2 v 2, play with me, or even attend competitions together! i think that would be perfect. no nagging at each other over studies, only mutual encouragement. =D.


My favourite match-up in warcraft 3, the 2v2 AT. gay strats like... Dual human 12 footies AM FL rush! Hmm... Mountain King, Blood Mage, Blademaster, Shadow Hunter in avalanche! so many coool things... xP. but noone to play with nowadays anyway. rofl.


If i got a GF that plays DOTA, i would quit my team, if any, then i would form a team with her! talking DOTA drafts, scolding other teammates together... wooo.. what can get more fun than that?

But i guess i'm thinking too far! There is hardly any gamers my age. let alone female gamers. Rofl! maybe i'll stand a better chance at netball ^_^

My game vs Shana : All my sad grunts being blizzed =(

Can't believe that i won

Really came as a shock

~.~

Quit gaming

back to studies

Argh.

11 days more to prelims ..!



My Gxl interview : http://www.gamesync.net/2007/08/09/features/interviews/interview-with-gxl-champion-oxygen?page=0%2C0

So pissed.

WCG 2006 - WC3 - 3rd
DOTA - 5th-8th

WCG 2007 - WC3 - 9th-16th
DOTA - 4th

wtf man. i cant believe it. i never fed so much in my life. my enigma vs micro was like 5 - 15? and my engima vs nova was like 5-12? how sad. i must suck really badly now. feel sad for a guy in my team though. i just came in, and i like took over his spot. thats really damn bad of me man. i took it over, and i fed so much. big time. hais. >.<

warcraft solo was even more sad. lost to shana in top 16, i can't even express what i felt, or how am i feeling now, or what i did in mere words. even though the latter could be expressed, but i am reluctant to write it. hais. all my training. for shit. i think, i should have done what i set out to do much earlier. quit gaming completely, and start studying. with the conclusion of gxl finals on sunday, or probably sat, knowing my skill level, it is time for me to stop for my o'levels at least.

gaming is cruel. too cruel. the look on your opponent's face when u win, gives you a sort of high, the shaking of his head, as he talks softly to his friends, etc, makes solo worthwhile. but when u realise that you are on the receiving end, the feeling totally sucks. i hate losing. i really do. but i lost in so many aspects already. both in life, and in gaming.


today i got called anti-social again.

fux i know i am, but can you stop pointing that out? ignorance is bliss.

emo!

lost in wcg top 16 warcraft solo.

wtf, this should never have happened.

losing is never fun.

the look on their faces.

the look on my face.

i hate losing.

losing, SUCKS