Ok. i nearly flared up yesterday, and i did today. this is ridicule. I'm flaunting most rules in the school rule book. i have Colored hair, Spiky, No Slope, Sleeping in class, playing cards during classes, literally disrespecting the teachers. school.. Hmm, Haiz... Ah well! =\


I think my condition is solitary, one of its kind. i keep trying to reach for things, i will never get. aim for heights i will never reach, run huge distances, which i can never cover. pray for a miracle, which will never happen. WCG champion? Crap. Rugby mVp? Nonsense. A1 for my studies? Jokes! Wishing for a friendship like S.H.E's? Dream on!. Confidante? Nice try, Big time. ever since i tried becoming more friendly and open, what i have achieved is relentless blows on my confidence and mental state. I don't want to feel like this anymore. It just does not flow with my style. I would rather do everything on my own, quit gaming, once and for all. forget about everything else, concentrate on my studies... and my interests, but yet i know it isn't possible. the day, i achieve a ceasefire between my heart and my mind, will be the day i would go back to my old self. this won't ever be easily attainable, i will do my utmost to ensure it would. i don't know... but this HQ competition... will be the last ever.. competition for me.. no more competitive gaming.. No no. all my gaming friends, Nah.. i don't want to be part of them anymore. gives me too many mixed feelings...


God give me strength.

Welcome to the real world.

"Hi."